Monday, March 1, 2010

Love-Sick. Or maybe just sick of love

I am a fool for love. I am also a fool when heartbroken. I'm essentially a fool no matter if I'm single or dating. I wish that I wouldn't be so stunned when the person I like flat-out tells me that it's not working (and then it takes forever to actually get it through my stubborn head). I thought I found the person who I could marry. He told me that I don't even know him. It's true, he doesn't talk about himself much, but I know he has by far the most qualities I find important than any other guy I've met or dated. I wonder if he said I didn't know him b/c I still am terrible at thinking on my feet & when he asked what I knew about him, I said what was fresh on my mind, not what is always in the back of my head.

Sometimes I get angry and want to give up on boys completely & other times I just feel lost. I'd never met anyone at all similar to him before. How will I ever replace him? Will it feel like a consolation prize? It had better not! I was thinking the other night that I should study Captain Moroni, so that me & my future husband can cause our own minor earthquakes in hell.

Will I find my own Captain Moroni (or one of the sons of Helaman) in the South? Is it someone who is currently on a mission? Is it someone I know who I simply haven't seen because I was preoccupied with my past? Or maybe it's someone I won't meet for several years. Or maybe Mom was right and I'll never find a husband in this life. I think I'd prefer sooner rather than later. Being single has its perks, but I think I could be happy to be married. Maybe because in Mormon years, I'm an old maid XD

4 comments:

Katie said...

Hannah! You are not an old maid, even in Mormon years! Anyway, it does get frustrating. I think that you will find your future husband in this life.

I really liked your comment about, "I was thinking the other night that I should study Captain Moroni, so that me & my future husband can cause our own minor earthquakes in hell."

It made me laugh, and want to use it myself! You have a way with words.

Hannah Beth said...

How about in BYU years?

XD I'm glad you appreciated it

lotusgirl said...

I'm with Katie. You are so not an old maid. Good grief. Your life is just beginning. When I was very frustrated about my love-life in my twenties I heard or read somewhere that the best thing you can do is throw yourself into the things that make you happy. In doing that you become a whole person and a happy person and you're more likely to find the person that values the things you do if you're ensconced in them. It made a lot of sense to me. Another thing I read/heard was to not try making yourself happy with a guy. Make yourself happy with doing the things you love and guys will appreciate it and like you accordingly. That may have gone with the former statement. It was a long time ago. Anyway. It made me realize that I could expect happiness to come to me with some guy. It had to come from within myself.

lotusgirl said...

Ooops that would be "I couldN'T expect happiness to come from some guy."