Columbine

Yesterday, one of my sister's sister-in-laws got married. Tod came out for the wedding. He's probably still one of my favorite ppl, even if we do push each other around. Probably because we do that. He's the one who took some pics of me and my bike. This one's my favorite:

1988 Honda Interceptor VTR 250

I named her Columbine - after the flower and because there's a shooting attached to the name as well. How could I resist a name that simultaneously is innocence and violence all at the same time?

Just found some stats and did the math. She's almost 3x heavier than me. I am motivated to not have her on the ground so that I need to pick her up. Done it before and it SUCKS.

End of year musings/downer

Just about the only thing I've been looking forward to lately is the arrival of a certain someone when they come back to Utah to be present for a major life event of someone else.

I am too good at non-feeling if that's the only thing I truly feel anything about. Feeling came back for a while back in April/May and some here and there-type things months later but I've lapsed back. Certain things I did and didn't do, but I can't remember my logic in the first place.

Read a lot of books, watched a lot of Buffy. Texted some ppl I should have and some others that I shouldn't. Had morose thoughts and tried to distract myself. Gave things to people. Hung out with friends. Played on my new motorcycle.


I've been on YouTube a lot more lately: Fade Into the Background - Ne-Yo

100 Things you're grateful for (guided):

AKA 10 days of blogging challenge
Stolen to the 3rd degree, but I edited it XD

• 10 people you are grateful for.
• 10 physical abilities you are grateful for.
• 10 material possessions you are grateful for.
• 10 things about your personality you are grateful for.
• 10 things about this week that you are grateful for.
• 10 places on earth you are grateful for.
• 10 learning experiences you are grateful for.
• 10 acts of service you are grateful for.
• 10 inventions you are 
grateful for.
• 10 things about the gospel you are grateful for.

I went ahead and started this this morning. I understand that other ppl are busy XD

People:

1. Rachel (you're a great roommate & sister)
2. Mary&Drew (I can always rely on you. Plus, deep conversations are nice)
3. Regina (don't know you well yet, but I am looking forward to it)
4. Jason (for letting me know it's possible to be friends even after breaking up)
5. Mike, Bryce, & Sarah (thanks for letting me not be a total social pariah in the ward)
6. Bri&Nathan, Rob, Dann (for encouraging me and helping with my bike)
7. Heidi (w/o you, I'd've probably been a social misfit for a large number of years more than I was)
8. Justin (for showing me that I'm not permanently damaged and also helping me find a job)
9. Tod (for the experience and also helping me to remember)
10. Mom (for letting me have love and understanding for those who've been hurt deeply)

Physical Abilities:

1. sensitivity to touch, temperature
2. good eyesight
3. ability to travel for several miles on foot or using a bike
4. pain to alert me when something's wrong with body position etc
5. sleeping a full night
6. can handle humidity and summer temperatures
7. not sitting still for prolonged periods of time (woot for burning calories)
8. high metabolism that allows me to eat as much good food as I want
9. (developing) ability to drive a motorcycle
10. healing

Material Possesions:

1. 250cc Honda Interceptor Motorcycle
2. Laptop computer
3. Electric blanket - don't know how else I'd survive
   
4. apartment
5. savings
6. cute clothes - esp. the shirts XD
7. jigsaw puzzles
8. long hair
9. good paying job
10. spaghetti in my fridge

Personality/Mental Abilities:

1. Loving others
2. getting excited about the small things
3. acting happy-goofy around friends
   
4. no subtlety - sledgehammer comparison
   
5. Focus on one at a time
6. spatial awareness and ability to backtrack
   
7. between incredibly happy and neutral 9 out of 10 days
   
8. comfortable with silence and/or quiet in my downtime
   
9. listening to others
10. learning complicated things and retaining random trivia

This week:

1. Went Christmas shopping
2. being the friend of choice when someone needed distraction
3. having clean laundry (but not that I needed to put it away)
4. getting my hair put in tiny braids and having an awesome-looking bun
5. getting back into reading books instead of watching tv shows
6. cleaning the kitchen and making spaghetti & feeling accomplished
7. getting the phone number for and talking to my new mom
8. more practice on my motorcycle
9. eating Rachel & Jeff's "gingerbread" house
10. being able to function on too-little sleep and catching up on it later

Places:

1. Myrtle beach (the ocean soothes me in ways nothing else can)
2. Dad's house (wish I was there now)
3. My apartment (having a place that is truly mine where I am boss)
4. Wal-Mart (24-hr store that I can browse for hours on end)
5. Banana Leaf & Great China Restaurant (with friends, of course)
6. Provo City Library (hunting books feels like such a treasure hunt)
7. Lake Anna (waterskiing is the best! - even though they don't live there anymore)
8. Airports (esp. the ones with free Wi-Fi. I love flying)
9. Uncle Brent's house ('White Christmas'-es there are so fun)
10. Temples (currently the Provo temple and the one being built almost next door to me)

Learning experiences:

1. working customer service
2. having my own apartment
3. purchasing and owning a motorcycle
4. transportation to work
5. exploring Provo and Orem
6. dating good and bad
7. not talking to someone for over 2 years and seeing the changes they've made
8. having parents like mine
9. being rejected by some and taken in by others
10. paying back my debts

Acts of Service:

1. rides home
2. cooking
3. cleaning for someone else
4. getting stuff I know someone will enjoy and giving them
5. talking to someone who needed a listening ear
6. talking to someone who gave a listening ear
7. patience and coaching and all the while being nonjudgmental
   
8. remembering old friends
9. keeping a secret
10. being friends with me even with my eccentricities

Inventions:

1. Internet - Pandora - Mannheim Steamroller/Trans-Siberian Orchestra Christmas station
2. Public bus system
3. Plumbing
4. Laptop - I can have MY computer when I travel and when I won't even get out of bed
5. heaters
6. Brushes, combs & ponytail holders
7. Refrigerator, Microwave & oven
8. Printing press - books, obviously
   
9. Cell phones - chatting on a computer and talking on a phone combined as something you can keep in your pocket
   
10. Cameras

Gospel:

1. Repentance
2. Songs that are testimonies
3. Home Teachers
4. Visiting Teachers
5. Conference
6. Bishops
7. Potlucks
8. Latter-Day prophets
   
9. Patriarchal Blessing
   
10. Jesus Christ

EDIT: combined posts

(Book) Revival

I think I'm going to start reading again. TV shows especially have let me down. They suck up my time and don't even make me happy. Time to get back into the library on a regular basis. Reading this book at work and at home has helped me remember that media CAN make me cheerful and happy.


Joining this site might have also had something to do with it... heh

Bittersweet

Those uncomfortable car rides home where it becomes painfully obvious how little you know about me, that's the time I miss him the most.


PS - I've got a job interview tomorrow morning

EDIT - Those late nights when he drove me home are some of my favorite memories (esp. from that period of my life). I felt so safe and content. It's fun to be sleep-drunk around someone who will just laugh at you and expects you to do the same to them if the positions were reversed.

Job Application

There's a limit to how many job applications I can submit before my brain fries. I'm off to do fun things with my day now.

Josh Groban

Weeping

I knew a man who lived in fear
It was huge, it was angry,
It was drawing near.
Behind his house a secret place
Was the shadow of the demon
He could never face.

He built a wall of steel and flame
And men with guns to keep it tame
Then standing back he made it plain
That the nightmare would never ever rise again
But the fear and the fire and the guns remain.

[Chorus]

And then one day the neighbours came
They were curious to know about the smoke and flame
They stood around outside the wall
But of course there was nothing to be heard at all
"My friends," he said, "We've reached our goal
The threat is under firm control
As long as peace and order reign
I'll be damned if I can see a reason to explain
Why the fear and the fire and the guns remain."

Chorus:
It doesn't matter now it's over anyhow
He tells the world that it's sleeping
But as the night came round
I heard its lonely sound
It wasn't roaring, it was weeping
It wasn't roaring, it was weeping.

Food

This list is mostly for Rachel...

Spaghetti with sauce and meat
Lasagna
Chicken Alfredo pasta
Sausage pizza
Garlic bread
Enchilada Casserole
Chicken & Dumplings
Ice Cream (Caramel & Praline, Cookie Dough)
Sour gummy worms
Banana/Vanilla Pudding

Taco salad
Cheesy mashed potatoes (maybe w/meat, too)
Macaroni & Cheese casserole
Potato casserole
Amish broccoli
Cheese broccoli and/or garlic spinach
Chicken Almond
Taco Soup
Spinach pasta
Pasta salad
Tuna Noodle Casserole
Orange chicken/Sweet n Sour chicken
Banana bread