Well, Tod... Heavenly Father DID give you an opening and had me let you know about it. Ball was in your court. You had a week and a half to show any kind of initiative at all. I think that's way too long to have to wait anyway, but I gave you leniency because you worked 12 hour days Monday through Saturday. I'm back to being mad at you. Mad at the fact that I am still so attached to you to the point that I can't really date other people seriously in good conscience. Happy?

Me neither.

Oh well. Life goes on. I plan on going on dates with other people again. You missed your chance. Who knows? Maybe you'll get another. Maybe you won't. What Heavenly Father leaves up to me says you won't get another chance for a long while. Missions for girls last a year and a half. Getting out of the real world for that long + spiritually enlightening? That's a win-win situation in my opinion. Maybe I'll stop thinking about you every time I turn around.

Heavenly Father can be sadistic at times

Dear Tod,
I miss you like you wouldn't believe. I want to remember everything I loved about you and renew those feelings, but you have yet to say anything back to me. Despite Heavenly Father's intervention, I don't know how long I'll be able to wait on you. I will continue to squelch the urge to remember the good times b/c I'd hate to have to remember the bad in order to ground myself in real life.
Love love love,
Hannah

Church-ness!

I've started thinking somewhat seriously about going on a mission. I'll be 21 next May =) I think I'm going to start going to missionary prep classes.

Going to institute with Bro. Shurtleff is awesome. Learning about the scriptures is interesting again (shame on me that it wasn't always interesting...)

I know the Lord loves me, but sadly, I've been limiting his communication to me lately. I need to fix that. I've made some recent realizations lately and they will probably help me get back on track and ready to face the world again. Scriptures are fun to read. I really need to start making time for that. Maybe I should make a schedule...

I got a spiritual hug a couple nights ago when I really needed it. It's such a good thing that Heavenly Father is so forgiving. Bunch of obstinate children... Anyways, I'm going to start working on being a fantastic person, so pray for me to be able to continue through and be able to make some awesome improvements to my lifestyle

Wow. It has been a really long time.

Life is fantastic! Living at Aunt Lisa & Uncle Bob's is really fun. I am gradually starting to relax and start to feel comfortable around them and just doing my own thing. Hiding isn't as much of a habit as it's been in the past.

I just recently found out that Tod has also been put off of dating. I don't know why, but I'm a little bit comforted that it's not all one-sided this time.
Last month, I went on a few dates. I have a feeling that I will continue to do so. muahahahaha

I need a new job. Construction is still wearing me down. (The theatre set building job is out--the economy's too bad) Any job ideas?