Almost done (4 more days!)

Boyfriend went home this past weekend. I'll be leaving on Thursday night after work and turning in all my equipment and tools =)

Today I am doing laundry and cleaning my room. It is so cathartic. Turning music up really loud and cleaning everything.

Btw, I am not in my area that I am supposed to be working in. The sales guys decided to open a new area (with only four days left! What are they thinking?) and I was assigned to go out there with one of the guys. I told him he could have whatever jobs were coming in today and I'd head out there if he got backed up. As it's looking now, he might be lucky to just get one job. The first day in an area is always slow.

Anyways, boyfriend's nephew came into town on Saturday to assist in the drive home. Later, boyfriend told me that his nephew is so jealous because I am a nerd and I'm hot. Direct quote. I am so pleased with that. Heehee. It's the little compliments that just get me XD

PS - we've been dating a little over 2 months

*Hope*

I was reminded of an old relationship today and it helped me realize something about my current relationship and why I have such high hopes for this one:

I don't feel like I'm trying to save the person I'm dating. He lifts me up and inspires me to be better. He says that I inspire him to be better as well. It confuses me that he can be inspired by me, but I'm happy that somehow he's a better person for knowing me (and can tell me so). Btw, ever since I told him that I cannot survive a relationship where I'm not getting compliments and verbal feedback almost constantly and he said that he can change and that he's a fast learner, things have changed for the better. For a while in there, I was finding other ppl to be attractive and being like "dang. I'm in a relationship, can't have anything happen" and it changed back to seeing people, but not caring if they're attractive in relationship to my behavior. Maybe eventually my communication with myself will get better and my mind won't have to be so blatant to let me know when something's wrong, but for now, this is good enough, I believe. I'm moving back to Utah after the season to let this relationship follow it's course and just see where it leads.

Miscommunication

It makes me sad to see how much pain the inability to communicate can cause.

That is why I'm only in town for the weekend. I love love love my sisters, but there are some people who have no idea how to communicate and then because their needs aren't being met, lash out at their perceived attackers (who usually have no idea what set that person off or why). It's just something I can't handle being around. I think I'll try to broach the subject politely and see what they think about it...

I'm glad I'll only be here for the weekend--even though I love the south and miss it desperately while I'm gone. Some people are just too painful to be around.

Who wouldn't miss this?

Also, the temptation to allow myself to get sad and just hold that feeling close to myself and create a cocoon gets really strong sometimes. Like right now. I want to use sadness as my shield/barrier... (I'm still too sensitive to careless comments, apparently)

Sometimes my mind gets stuck in a loop. A couple hours ago, I hit a funk and I can't really get out. Can't bring myself to go to bed and can't really bring myself to do something productive.

Then I start feeling weird about complaining that I'm not doing anything...