so... broken laptop. these update things are much harder now... I promise I'll catch up at some point

Just hard when my laptop's been mailed in, roommate's laptop's charger is broken, and their sister moved out, so we have no laptops at home. Yay for campus & friends

day 17: someone you'd want to switch lives with for a day and why

It depends. Would I want to use it for good or for evil? For understanding or for pranks? Why am I limited to just one person? Presumably, if I can switch with one person, I can switch with many. Can it be a FICTIONAL character??? There are so many options!

However, if I can be ANYONE, including fictional characters, I'd want to be Eliot from Leverage. I don't have to worry about that pesky reality in my own little world, I can experience what it's like to have the greatest mastery of hand-to-hand combat with really awesome muscles AND I get to see how being a guy is different from being a girl (ex. brain processes).

I might cause some mischief, too...
(ex. cutting the signature hair)

day 16: a picture of yourself

I went with an aunt on a photoshoot last year and she took this. Isn't it fantastic?

day 15: put your iPod on shuffle and list the first 10 songs that play

I don't actually own an ipod or anything particularly similar to it, so I think I will list [10 of] my Pandora stations.

Can We Chill - Ne-Yo
Mormon Tabernacle Choir (for Sundays)
Beer for my Horses - Toby Keith
I Miss You - Blink 182
Raining on Sunday - Keith Urban
Jessie's Girl - Rick Springfield
Lips of an Angel - Hinder
If You're Not the One - Daniel Bedingfield
Mannheim Steamroller (added variety with Trans-Siberian Orchestra)
Dust on the Bottle - David Lee Murphy

--> this probably means I really like country and R&B with a smattering of old and new pop music

day 14: a picture of you and your family

Here's the classic nuclear family:

But there are other people who I consider to be close family, too

As some of you know, I lived with this very awesome lady (and her family) and learned a lot

[I found a picture of all of us!]
I think of them as quite close family (plus, lived with them for a semester back in 2009)

and this lovely lady was my last roommate while I was still in South Carolina. It was one of the most fun experiences I've had

I lived with a family for about a month and during that time I fell in love with them and their chaos. These two especially.

Meet my latest roommates. Have I mentioned that I love married people? So much less pressure on me to help them feel like they have identity (btw, I despise and loathe that--please don't do that to me) because they have an identity with each other. Anyways, moved in with them and I'm looking forward to a temporary stay until I whirlwind somewhere else

Again, sorry about the sporadic posting, but, hey, at least I'm doing it?

day 13: your 5 favorite books and why

I am completely converted to this book. It helps me understand what my priorities are and how I should request things in a relationship and why others don't always want the same thing as I do.
If you haven't found out your love language, you totally should XD

(couldn't find a picture of the mangas together, so i used the movie cover)
Nausicaa is a princess who can talk to animals and throughout the manga, people recognize her as the one prophesied to save the world. She does this in a unique way and it's probably my favorite book of talking to animals (but in this case, it's mostly bugs) and crossing the world during turmoil

I read this book for the first time several years ago while I was at my grandparents house on my dad's side. I was amazed at the strategies demonstrated and cited there and how effective they would've been for me. According to my big brother, it should be read with Playful Parenting, but I haven't read that, so I'll just have to say to ask him.

The secondary main character (it's told in two perspectives) was my very first crush. It is the most adorable story of a girl learning to stand on her own and a guy learning that preconceived notions are horribly awful and nobody benefits from them at all. It's out of print, so I'm really sad about that--still planning on owning it eventually, just have to settle for a secondhand or something, I guess

The Serpent's Shadow is one of my favorites because it has magic in it. The main character doesn't know she even HAS power when she is fleeing to England--it's set back in the day where women aren't supposed to be doctors, but she's from India and has mixed heritage and she does what she sets her mind to do and becomes a private doctor there. She is powerful and gathers some help and with it, she defeats her great enemy. It's an invigorating read with tasteful & cute romance

day 12: write a poem

Roses are red
violets are blue
life is confusing
and you know it's true

(I really posted this this morning, but I feel like it should SAY Friday)

day 11: write a bucket list of things you want to do before you die

• have a family of my own
• participate in the foster kids program
• own a rottweiler (or two, or three...)
• live somewhere warmer, like L.A. or Georgia
• help troubled teens
• travel frequently (including out of the country)
• be available to help those less fortunate than me
• photography?

day 10: songs you listen to when you're happy/sad/bored/mad

When I'm upset, I listen to angry black music. After a while, I realize there's no way I could go to the extremes they're talking about and I begin to calm down

When I'm happy, I listen to all kinds of silly music. John Denver, my pandora station from Jesse's Girl, etc...

Sad... just go find my gloomy music, like my pandora station of Hinder-Lips of an Angel or Blink 182-I miss You, etc

day 9: something you were proud of from the past few days

On Saturday, I took my SFL100 (Family Proclamation) midterm. I think I did pretty decently. The thing I'm proud of is that I drew a diagram to demonstrate a principle I was talking about and then i decided to draw pictures for as many questions as I could. It was very fun and I enjoyed it a lot. yay

just a short one for now. guess i'm not that proud of it XD

day 8: short-term goals for this month

• get caught up with homework (papers, reading)
• get to know ppl in my new single's ward
• have my laptop fixed (so I don't have to borrow other's--like now. heh)
• be more aware of other's needs
• read scriptures & pray more
• improve my karate - kata, names for techniques
• keep writing in my journal
• go on dates with different guys (instead of just one)
  
• etc etc etc
  

day 7: a picture of someone/something that has had the biggest impact on you

It's hard to think this is the same person who told a 7th grader that she was going to die in her early 20s from intestinal cancer

(just looking at pictures of her makes me feel sick with regret and sadness--
major step up from anger, though, I guess)

downward swing. looking forward to swinging back up...

my laptop is broken. I am majorly sad because of this. Especially because I can't find the receipt, so I can't take advantage of the warranty...

I don't understand things. We were talking about different intelligences in my Human Development class, like Analytical (IQ), Creative, Common Sense... One more recent school of thought was talking about Emotional Intelligence. I specifically remember thinking: "Oh, I hope I'm good at that." Then I found out about an hour ago from reading a blog that I had inadvertently hurt someone by not paying attention. Everyone was created equal, but not the same. I am pretty good in the analytical and creative areas, I even have pretty decent common sense... however, emotional intelligence is not my strong suit =(

My Social Intelligence is extremely low, too. Maybe more so than my Emotional Intelligence. Maybe I'm not horribly backwards in that area, but navigating the social scene... Frankly, I'm horrible at it. The proverbial bull in a china shop.


yay me

day 6: Favorite Superhero

Can characters from anime count? Ichigo from Bleach is pretty amazing. I love lots of protagonists especially when they have ridiculous advantages because you know they can't ever lose: Pug from the Magician series by Raymond E. Feist, One Piece, Naruto before I got tired of it, Nausicaa (my favorite), etc etc

(Princess) Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind
She totally saves the world by destroying it--or she destroys the world to save it. Either way, she is completely amazing (plus, she can communicate with animals & the awesome giant bugs that are more the ecolife than the mammals in her world)

Day 5: A picture of where I've been

I really don't want to just have one picture, so I'll just post pictures (emphasis on the plural) of where I've been

I LOVE thunderstorms. (my front yard until I turned 18)

BYU. Great Fine Arts program & gorgeous campus... just have to deal with the people

visited California. This is Muir Woods

Myrtle Beach (I think)

Finlay Park in Columbia. For the longest time, I used to think it was called Friendly Park

moved to California this time. We visited San Fran in celebration

ran out of money & came home. Lived there for about 2 months before I convinced one of my aunts to take me in

Moved to Columbia with some friends

Almost home. Don't you just love the clouds?

Took a friend to Myrtle Beach. It was really fun & awesome weather

Clemson Botanical Gardens

visited one of my sisters in Washington, D.C.

The lake my grandparents live on. I canoed to the rope swing with one of my sisters

My last month in SC before coming out to Utah again. Lived with a friend in her new house
(it was awesome)

Moved to live with a whole family. This is their kitchen and the downstairs family's overweight cocker spaniel who has apparently lost a lot of weight...

see? I LOVE pictures. I need some pictures of the place I'm living now... Well, guess that's my new task

Day 4: A habit I wish I didn't have

Well, procrastinating and doing all the things before I do something less fun, but necessary, like homework, is a terrible habit and gets me in trouble with myself a lot, but I like procrastinating so much, I don't want to stop myself.

This is especially harmful when I am actually leaving the house and doing stuff and being busy because when I get home, I don't get down to work, I get on the internet and look at pictures of lolcats and funny pictures of food or play on facebook for hours on end

I really need to change that...

Day 3: Picture of myself as a child

I never really realized that I don't have any old pictures of me on my laptop. I have pictures in photo albums, but not here.

This picture is stolen from one of my sisters via facebook:

Haven't changed much, have I?

Day 2: Meaning behind my blog name

It's a pretty straightforward meaning. My default is that I'm an extremely happy person. However, I have an ongoing fight with depression since I was maybe 10 years old (maybe earlier). I am a bittersweet person. Happy and sad, sweet and sour, up and down. I felt like it described me. My blog URL is bittersweet-pyro and, well... I like fire. Plain and simple.

(Seth is the one in my family who got famous for being a pyro, but I was just as much, if not more--probably a lot more. I just never got caught with anything.)


Well... "musings" is probably even more straightforward. I get to muse about things. Brood, think about, dream, or think over. However you want to interpret it. I do a bit of each whenever I write a blog or interact with it in any way

Day 1: Recent picture & 15 facts about me

I crack myself up =)

1. I love the internet and frequently get lost in a maelstrom of time-wasting activities
2. I've started keeping a journal
3. I am one of the pickiest eaters you know, but it's hard to tell because of my enthusiasm for the things I do like
4. Pictures are my passion. When I find out that people don't have any pictures of themselves (aka less than 20), I am disappointed and set out to make sure this changes
5. Rottweilers are my very favorite (bad reputation, but that's just because they're frequently abused. they're also extremely loyal)
6. I dislike mountains and zero humidity (thanks, utah)
7. I am a morning and night person. It's the afternoon that really gets me (Imagine a non-morning person attitude during mornings-that's me on any given day's afternoon)
8. I don't get grossed out by most "gross" things. I am grossed out by so-called romantic I-love-yous and no-I-love-you-mores between a couple
9. My favorite two musical genres are Country and R&B. An odd combination, I know. The favorite of rednecks AND the opposite with black music. XD but that's me
10. I love japanese culture. Manga, Anime, Okinawan Karate, and quite a few of the traditions I'm aware of
11. I am a horrible procrastinator (or great, depending on how you look at it)
12. I am quite familiar with English grammar and spelling & because of that, I feel like breaking the rules is an amusing pastime instead of ignorant blunders on my part (maybe I'm just lying to myself, but it doesn't matter b/c I'm happy about it, right? Right? Right?)
13. I love watching documentaries especially about the human mind & how it works
14. I know that being in a good mood means that this list is more positive. If I was in a bad mood, it would have less "I love _____"
15. When I was maybe 12, I tried to change my weight. I tried to gain weight because I'm like "I'm too skinny!" and that didn't work, so I tried to lose weight because I had noticed some places I didn't like. When that didn't work either, I looked in the mirror and told myself that this is the body I have, so I'd better accept that. As a result, I haven't ever really had body image issues. Seeing groups for support of that makes me sad that there's a problem, but grateful that it isn't one of mine.


Life is fun

Enjoy it
XD
(Yes, I am soooooooo a morning person. I've been up since 4am and am super happy about it)

30 Days of Blogging Challenge

One of my cousins (Alyssa) is doing this and I thought it looked like fun. We'll see how well it goes. I think I'll start today, though

day 1: recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
day 2: the meaning behind your blog name
day 3: a picture of yourself as a child
day 4: a habit that you wish you didn't have
day 5: a picture of somewhere you've been
day 6: favorite superhero and why
day 7: a picture of someone/something that has had the biggest impact on you
day 8: short-term goals for this month
day 9: something you were proud of from the past few days
day 10: songs you listen to when you're happy/sad/bored/mad
day 11: write a bucket list of things you want to do before you die
day 12: write a poem
day 13: your 5 favorite books and why
day 14: a picture of you and your family
day 15: put your iPod on shuffle and list the first 10 songs that play
day 16: a picture of yourself
day 17: someone you'd want to switch lives with for a day and why
day 18: plans/dreams/goals you have
day 19: write about a sweet memory from your past
day 20: write a letter to someone
day 21: a picture of something that makes you happy
day 22: what makes you different from everyone else
day 23: something you crave a lot
day 24: post your favorite quotation and why
day 25: what would I find in your bag
day 26: list 10 things you are thankful for
day 27: my day job vs. my passion
day 28: cruise a dictionary and pick out 10 words you like the sound of
day 29: favorite TV shows and why you like them
day 30: movies you can watch again and again


Feel free to join and if you don't want to, that's fine too =D

Just a quick update

Well, I've moved again. Mary & Drew now have me as one of their roommates. They're super-awesome people. Plus, it is MUCH easier to get to campus (and back) from their place

I've been on several quasi-dates with Devin. He's fun to talk to, but there's a bit of clinginess that's extremely unattractive to me.

In counseling again. I'm doing way better than in the past. One day last week I was in such a good mood, that it could even be described as just being ecstatic to be alive. It's encouraging to see that aspect of my personality on a more regular basis.