Wow

Life has really come together this past week. So many blessings and so much love. I re-read about half of my blog this morning and want to say some stuff.

In the 2nd half of my post, CA trip, I said that I didn't recognize the person I was and how it broke my heart. With how my life is going currently, I couldn't be happier and I would not give up my past in order to go back to that previous relationship. This one is so much better-suited to me and I am in such a great place, currently.

In Thank goodness I didn't get married (and have grown so much), I outlined things I didn't think I would've done while married or just that I was glad that I could do those things while single. SJ and I both are passionate about traveling and plan trips on a semi-regular basis. My background in construction and being a security guard led to my getting into the Vivint technician team, which is where I met SJ in the first place. Pet-sitting for Sophia is probably the deciding point in my job application to work at my current job in a dog kennel. I think being a dog trainer would be the most rewarding job ever and this job will (hopefully) at least help me along my way towards that goal. I now know that I can handle children (which I didn't, when dating Tod). This past weekend, I had a moment where I could see forgiving Mom as a complete possibility. Hasn't necessarily happened, but the fact that I could even think that when I thought I would at least have to be in my 40s to understand and forgive, is pretty impressive to me, in and of itself. This past month, I started individual therapy with group therapy and it has been amazing how much I feel has been done already with so much potential for more. SJ loves cruiser motorcycles, so I would probably still be able to ride a bike, but being in the driver's seat is always so fun. I don't know if I would've ever considered a cruiser without trying a sport or bullet bike first.

SJ and I have been dating a little over 5 months now. I know for a fact that I wouldn't have been able to make the progress that I did without his help. Simply his insistence on honesty, almost constant, in the beginning of our relationship--even if the honesty did hurt him, was helpful to staying on my path to improvement. His acceptance of who I am and the assertion that the atonement really does wipe away our mistakes is another reason. The combination of his desire for honesty and acceptance of me is definitely why I haven't slipped back into old habits formed in the longest and most unrelenting depression of my life. He is amazing and I love him for it. I am in love with him for it... XD