How far for a friend?

Holy wow I miss my friends from back home.

I wish I could be around my friends in South Carolina. Especially the guy who was my best friend for my first year at BYU because he was an insomniac and I was terminally homesick. Talking to him last night was absolutely heartbreaking because his life has deviated so far from where he was in high school and he was drunk as a skunk. When I wasn't heartbroken, I was wanting to roundhouse kick him and hopefully that would knock some sense into him.

I wish I could save people from making mistakes. I want it so bad.

I feel alone out here. I feel unnecessary and like I'm needed elsewhere, like South Carolina, where one of my friends is floundering in self-pity.


I think that one of my worst qualities is a willingness to do too much for a friend to the point that I make sacrifices that cut into my personal well-being. I also occasionally expect the same in return and am a little hurt when it doesn't happen. That corollary doesn't really effect me much, though. I don't usually expect of others what I expect of myself. Anyways, I wish that I wasn't tempted to do anything suggested or whatever comes to mind when I see a friend in need. Hurting myself when trying to help a friend is detrimental and only moves the pain instead of alleviating it. Or... alleviating it in one person and shifting it to myself. Dame (DAH-may) desu nee? (Bad situation, huh?)

Dame = bad, no good, useless, helpless


Oyasumi nasai! (goodnight)
...even though it's morning for just about all my readers - ohayoo gozaimasu (good morning)